‘I need to phone the AI’, I would announce on many a morning from April to July, after I arrived in for my daily fry-up after the morning milking. This is a long time back, but just as vivid in my mind as if it were yesterday – especially the hearty calorie-laden breakfast prepared by Mrs Youcantbeserious before her and the kids headed for school!
The AI station was in Athboy. Getting the call in early insured that the AI man would call that afternoon. A call made in the evening meant the service man would arrive first thing next morning. The cow … the lady in waiting; would be detained in the shed or chute until the man in the brown protective coat arrived to execute the procedure –which only took a couple of minutes.
I was on first name terms with all the AI men and we would chat as he opened the boot of his car and took a plastic straw from the freezing thermostat flask. The contents of the straw would be the sperm from whatever bull I had nominated. ‘A proven bull’, I would ask for; or sometimes I would request the bull by name, which cost a little more.
Now here is the sad bit of the story: the randy cow was entitled to expect more out of life… but not only did she enjoy no pleasure from this insemination; but her displeasure at how the impregnation was conducted would be ignored both by me and the AI man. The only pleasure enjoyed was for the bull at the AI station … and of course for me and the cow when a calf arrived nine months later.
There is no other way to describe how this thing worked, other than to say the poor cow got screwed by the system.
This was the AI of an uncomplicated age; ‘artificial insemination.’ Today’s AI, ‘Artificial Intelligence’ is a very different breed of revolution and one where we can all finish up being screwed … if you’ll pardon the expression.
I understood every aspect of how the AI of the 1970s worked. I know very little about the AI of 2026, except that those who do know tell us that AI may very well eventually take over the running of the world and be our boss. If AI was used only for the good of mankind, that would be great, but what springs to mind about this powerful tool is the adage that; ‘power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.’
Let us take first a glance at this corner of your newspaper and this column. I am now not needed here. The editor could have AI write a more eloquent, more detailed, more accurate, more readable (Ah Lads … please; a man’s livelihood could be at stake here!) 1,000 words than what you are reading – and at no cost.
The only thing saving me is the kindness of the boss and a bit of good karma … because I never laid off staff in Spain when business got quiet in winter! I read that the first profession to go will be lawyers and those in the legal profession; surely coming under the heading of good use of the new technique! (No … no, not you, Shelley … and I’m only joking, David!)
A life altering benefit that will come from AI use is in the area of health and disease cures. AI can enrich and make life easier for humans; but the bad things it has power to perform can actually destroy the civilisation we know. Here are a few of those certain threats we know about.
Truth has always been the first casualty of war; and so we see this week some of the photos from the American – Iran war are proven to be AI generated false photos. Of course the first thing we should say here is that AI in itself isn’t yet lamentable … it’s the people using it.
Misinformation through the medium of AI is already rampant. Scams to separate decent people from their hard-earned money are stories we hear every day. And what about Grok; the AI engine capable of showing naked pictures of victims by removing their clothes online?
Hacking is easy using AI and this scourge is set to become an even greater international scandal. Bigotry, racial hatred and far right propaganda is being beamed from phone to phone in a manner that makes it read totally believable.
Dangerous skill erosion is imminent, where AI will more and more be used for decision making and this will lead to a decline in human thinking, creativity and problem-solving skills.
Like we said, I don’t know too much about it; but I have read where advanced AI models have grown to show tendencies for deception and cheating and can’t be trusted.
I don’t know about you – but I’m beginning to feel a bit like that poor oul cow!
Don’t Forget
Science is only a tool. The harm or good it does depends on how people use it.
