Before you write in and complain, I am fully aware that this article is led by the worst headline of my entire career (assuming our extremely talented and highly respected editor hasn’t jumped in and changed it), so let’s just move on with the story, shall we!

A night patrol of San Miguel Local Police this week assisted an injured and disorientated nocturnal resident of the town, a rather young owl.

Following a brief conversation consisting of, “what’s your name?”, “who”, “you”, “who”, “you”… etc, the injured owl was taken to the Bird Recovery Centre where it was said to be recovering and resting safely, where he will be cared for and rehabilitated for his release, before bidding the offers farewell with a customary, “mind how you go”.