I’m writing this to tell all British ex-pats that you are at serious risk of poisoning if you eat any meat or dairy product in continental Europe!

I am joking, of course, but this is the view of British MPs who have, questionably, escaped from asylums to introduce a whole range of “biodiversity checks” on meat and dairy products, plants and seeds imported into Britain from the EU. These were introduced at British ports last week.

It is a tit-for-tat load of ridiculous nonsense brought in because of Brexit, and the fact that the wretched band of MP idiots did not bother to think about the implications of leaving the EU or lied or produced a load of half-truths before asking Brits to vote. Would-be right-wing Tory and Reform voters take note.

It’s a national scandal (yes, yet another) which has resulted in all people in Britain having to pay more for virtually everything, and with these new checks at the ports, it will result in more costs, which, undoubtedly, will be passed on at the shops.

Perhaps Brits holidaying in Europe this summer should tell all the MP asylum escapees that they enjoy food on the other side of the Channel, it’s far, far cheaper, and there are no “biodiversity” risks whatsoever – and actually Mediterranean food is better for your health.

And if MPs seriously want to prevent anything undesirable from entering Britain, the most vigorous checks should be made at entry points to prevent the likes of the crazed, mentally ill Spanish/Brazilian who hacked a 14-year-old schoolboy to death while he went to school last week, from getting in.

I am sure that among the hundreds of thousands of “illegals” who have entered Britain under the 14 years of Tory watch there are many thousands of criminals who shouldn’t be in the UK, not now, not ever.

INKING DISCOURAGES JOB OFFERS

These pictures were sent to me via Facebook – it’s a 23-year-old who has had tattoos on her face, neck, thigh, and no doubt other places too. She’s had numerous metal studs on her face and a large nose ring too and is now complaining that a would-be employer has rejected her job application for work in a store.

Why on earth do people have this done to themselves? We have all seen people who have been heavily tattooed and with all manner of metal in their face and personally I hate to see it.

I saw a homeless man begging in a town centre in the UK with the whole of his face tattooed and with a Mohican hair cut too, the hair coloured a brilliant orange. I wonder if the reason was to make himself totally unemployable, so the State would keep him.

Perhaps there should be far greater controls on tattoo parlours to prevent the idiots from themselves.

Employers must think about the reaction from customers if they saw an employee looking like a clown. And what on earth is this young woman going to look like in middle age with these tattoos. No doubt she will long regret the stupidity of her youth.

LOST FABRIC OF SOCIETY

I have often written about Britain going to the dogs, and over the last few days a number of news stories on TV and the Press have confirmed it.

The examples are:

* A shocking revelation that the number of children in England drinking alcohol has reached record levels, with girls outstripping boys in getting drunk, and the UK is now leading Europe in teenage binge drinking.

* Shoplifting offences in England and Wales have risen to the worst in 20 years, caused, in part, by a decision by police not to investigate shoplifting offences if the value of goods stolen is under 200 pounds.

* The number of children in care has reached shocking levels, especially in parts of the North, with Blackpool having the greatest number, where one in every 52 children is in care compared with one in 140 across England, exposing “deeply rooted social inequalities” in a north-south divide.

* A 13-year-old girl is in custody after being charged with stabbing two teachers and a pupil at her school in Wales.

* A Spanish/Brazilian national armed with a sword, ran amok killing a 14-year-old schoolboy and injuring several others before being Tasered by police.

* A 56-year-old man has been charged with kidnap and sexual assault of a nine-year-old girl in Knightsbridge, central London. He has also been charged with administering a substance with the intention of stupefying or overpowering to enable sexual activity.

Yes, there is much good going on in Britain too – the London Marathon is a prime example with more than 50,000 people taking part and raising a massive amount of money for a huge variety of charities.

My son was a runner too, beating his personal best of 3 hours 50 minutes.

Britain is one of the leaders when it comes to combating climate change and is also leading the field into research to beat cancer.

But it has lost its way when it comes to ensuring the fabric of society is not harmed, and the present government obsession with cutting spending to create tax cuts is by far the biggest culprit.

It stripped away police numbers to such an extent that seeing a policeman on the beat is as rare as finding a gold nugget on the street. It’s meant that an undermanned and under resourced police force is unable to properly investigate anything like as many crimes as it should and has led to the wave of shoplifting, creating open season in supermarkets and shops.

Budget cuts have resulted in understaffing in schools and within the NHS with dire consequences and cuts have resulted in months of delays in dealing with asylum seekers resulting in hundreds if not thousands of illegal immigrants going missing in the system and no doubt fuelling the drugs “industry”.

There is also a breakdown in basic parenting, otherwise we would not be seeing the huge rise in under-age drinking. Provisional figures suggest suicide was significantly higher last year than in the previous three, and again, this may be partly accounted for through increased poverty levels, which have undoubtedly increased.

Family poverty can be raised by the inability of parents to go out to work, but sadly the UK has some of the highest childcare costs in the world, and experts have warned the most disadvantaged children are at risk of missing out due to the nationwide shortage of provision.

The number of registered childcare providers in England fell by 20,000 from 2015 to 2022, according to data from Ofsted. It all adds up to a sorry story.

There is no doubt that the gap between the rich and poor in Britain has greatly increased over the past decade and there will have to be a giant step change to reverse it. But reverse it we must, otherwise we will see even more ghastly statistics, and even worse stories such as I have mentioned before.

WHITEHALL GALLOPS

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing when I switched on the TV news to hear that bolting Household Cavalry horses ran amok through central London.

Five horses bolted when they were spooked by noise from a building site they were passing.

The horses were injured, two seriously, and four people were treated in hospital for injuries.

But the incident could have been far worse had the horses careered into a crowd of people.

I hope that Household Cavalry do not exercise their horses at the rush hour ever again and choose their route very carefully in future. Society should be trying to eliminate risks of injury, not creating them.