Most of you will instantly say abroad…believing that in the UK we are safe from the most horrible insects likely to do us real harm.

After all, we don’t have scorpions, the deadliest snakes or malaria-infecting mosquitoes. Yes, we do have wasps, bees, gnats, some poisonous spiders and also horse flies, but unless you are highly allergic to something nasty, you’re generally as safe as houses in the UK.

Or are you? Well, I think not. A fortnight ago I cooked breakfast and washed up for the two of us (yes, I am a real man!!) and had a shower. As I stepped out, I felt terribly shivery and cold. I couldn’t believe how ill I felt. Had I caught Covid? I thought.

I told my wife I felt so ill I had to go to bed – which is so unlike me because, touch wood, I am never ill.

I went to sleep and after about an hour I woke up and the shivering had gone. I thought, whatever it was, it wasn’t Covid. I got up and then it hit me. The pain in my right leg was so intense I could hardly cope with it. I had never experienced pain like it before. On the Richter scale it was nine out of 10!

I went back to bed and thought, let’s hope the pain goes as quickly as the shivering. After about an hour I woke again and the pain was just as bad, it was obvious I had to get to hospital.

Luckily, with care, I was still able to drive, so I took myself to A&E where I had umpteen tests, and, from the attitude of the consultant, he was concerned.

I was put on an antibiotic drip and finally was discharged about 11pm. I had to return to A&E for the following 10 days for a drip every day.

During that time my thigh, calf, ankle and foot swelled up to elephant proportions. The pain gradually subsided and that made it easier to walk.

Every day I would see the consultant who showed me my stats, from the time I arrived in A&E to date and, in particular, he showed me my white blood cell count, which should be around 7 but was 27. He said he had no idea what bit me, but whatever it was the bite was probably around my inside knee, and the poison travelled up to my thigh and down to my calf and foot. He said it was good I got to hospital when I did, because a few hours later and it could have been very serious.

After the nine days of drips, he put me on another seven days of oral antibiotics. At the time of writing, the pain has gone, and swelling in my thigh and upper calf has gone, but swelling in my lower calf and foot is still more than noticeable.

The best theory is that whatever bit me was probably a horse fly or a spider. So, the moral of all this is don’t be complacent – if you see an insect, you don’t like the look of, beware!!

Ironically, a week ago we opened a container full of mushrooms from a supermarket and crawling about on them was a long green caterpillar. Some of the really poisonous critters could well be coming into the UK from other continents.

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While we were in Orihuela Costa, last winter and spring, we were appalled at the neglect inflicted on the area by the local council. Rubbish left uncollected around waste bins in the street, weeds growing in the gutters, garden bins never emptied and the same with recycle bins, making you wonder why on earth you bother to recycle.

Add to that the ridiculous plague of home building going on everywhere, adding to the already exploding population without any regard to the need to improve the infrastructure, roads, sewerage network, hospital and doctor care and other essentials needed for comfortable modern living.

Well, sad to say, it’s as bad, if not worse in the UK. It’s as if the UK government have caught Orihuela Costa disease.

Where we live, there is building going on everywhere, fields converted to housing estates, traffic jams caused because of services being brought in, digging up all the roads. On bin collection days seagulls have a field day, ripping up bin bags and throwing rubbish everywhere. Public refuse sites are overflowing, caused because the recycling sites are closed more than they are open.

Councils were overjoyed when environmentalists suggested grass verges along the sides or roads should be left uncut. It meant councils could save a fortune on road maintenance. Can you imagine anything still living along road edges with traffic constantly travelling inches away?. Yet another load of total money-saving nonsense.

Sides of roads have not been touched for months, and the result? Trees and bushes growing over road signs, and those which are visible are covered with green algae.

White lines on roads? Forget it. They haven’t been re-painted for months, so it is really dangerous to drive at night, especially if it’s raining. Pot holes? Britain has almost the worst in Europe.

Orihuela Council has cut council services to provide more money for the city. The UK government have cut services – to the NHS, education, public services, to local councils, road building programme. You name it, the Tory government has axed spending on it for years, just to cut raising taxes to the rich and it’s now hitting the UK dearly.

If you put off maintaining your own home, it only costs far more in the long run. It’s the same with running the country, the people in the UK are now really paying the price for a lack of maintenance caused through stupid Tory spending cuts.

‘Ha, he’s barefoot! Call the gang… It’s get even time.’