It was with considerable relief that I learned it is no longer an offence to be ‘an incorrigible rogue’ under the Vagrancy Act of 1824, it has been repealed. Roguish smiles may once again be permitted if required.
You still won’t get away as easily with some misdemeanours which remain on the statute books, as for example knocking on someone’s door without a lawful excuse, double-glazing salesmen please note. It is also illegal to order one of your servants to stand on a window sill to clean one of your windows, whether double-glazed or not.
Lots of things that might land you in hot water with a judge in bygone days are no longer of much interest to any but the most dedicated ambulance-chasing lawyers. In Thailand it is illegal to step on paper money, whereas in Scotland it is almost always essential to do so, before it flies away in the wind. In Britain it was once unlawful to handle a salmon “in suspicious circumstances,” whereas nowadays most people probably just pay the poacher and consult a Jamie Oliver cookbook.
It could be that our modern attitude to former antisocial behaviour has had to adapt its value system to take into account considerations such as time wasted on things that now appear trivial. As legal costs mount and judges’ attention spans grow shorter or more befuddled, it is little wonder that society has greatly diminished interest in pursuing cases that involve forgetting your wife’s birthday, which was once a crime in Samoa. (Someone peeking over my shoulder as I scribble is nodding appreciatively.)
Compared to the mild eccentricity of any whale caught in the UK becoming the property of the monarch, or the fact that it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament, other countries’ misdeeds seem somewhat bizarre. You mustn’t drive in Missouri with an uncaged bear in the car. Nope, I’ll never do that. In Victoria in Australia it is illegal to change a lightbulb unless you are a licensed electrician. I’ll leave you to make up your own jokes.
In Colorado it is against the law to collect rainwater, and in parts of Greece it is still an offence to flag down a taxi if you have the plague. Surprised that you can still wave your arm, frankly. Just as surprising is that in Kentucky it is illegal to carry ice cream cones in your pocket, and probably also uncomfortable on a hot sunny day.
To my great delight, I have learned that nightclubs in Argentina must play the same amount of tango music as all other music combined. Ay caramba! I would dance with joy on hearing that, except I’m pretty sure playing castanets is forbidden after 10 p.m. on weekdays.
