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You Can't be Serious

“You Can’t be Serious” is a series of short stories written by Bernie Comaskey.

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How can anybody apply ‘the use of reason’; how can they tell right from wrong when the true facts are not being reasoned in the first place?

Is ‘the use of reason’ any use in today’s world?

Bernie Comaskey - 04/12/2025

There was never a parent who raised any sort of a child, who didn’t declare at some point; ‘you would need eyes in the back of your head to watch them.’

‘Needing eyes in the back of your head …’

Stop worrying; we are all going to be OK, we are all going to be grand.

‘This land is your land; this land is my land …’

‘Baptist’ spoke. ‘Comaskey you are a genius … no, no … you are a saint!’ Looking around him he exclaimed joyously; ‘we are all saints

Bagging the benefits of denying the damned to the Devil!

The greatest mistake you can make in this life is to be constantly fearful you will make one

‘Making the right mistakes …’

Everything centered from or around the fire; overseen by Bean an Tidgh.

Finally ‘letting the fire go out …’

Bernie Comaskey - 04/10/2025 0

The deliverer of two marietta biscuits asked casually; ‘what are you writing about this week?’ ‘Snoring’, I replied. Her immediate acidy response interfered with my tranquillity; ‘By God, mention me and you’re dead!’

The secret lives of serial snorers…

Bernie Comaskey - 25/09/2025 0

‘Going to the cinema’ is still a big treat. Mind you, the cinema of today is a very different picture to where I watched my first film.

‘Going to the pictures …’

Bernie Comaskey - 12/09/2025 0

All of my life i have found a truism in the saying; ‘there are no agnostics in the trenches.’

Do you believe in God?

Bernie Comaskey - 05/09/2025 0

The elephant, weighing perhaps six tons, is the largest animal on earth. Yet this favourite of creatures is one of the most gentle and caring beings on the planet.

Big beasts don’t have to be brutes

Bernie Comaskey - 14/08/2025 0

Mark’s hand shot up like a rocket: ‘Sss …Shi ….Shiv …an … Siobhan w…w… will n.n.. know …!’

Have you built your bunker yet?

Bernie Comaskey - 24/07/2025 0

Running along the bank, cheering on our boat

‘Messin’ around in the river …’

Bernie Comaskey - 16/07/2025 0

Sharing several short and shocking shaving stories …

Sharing several short and shocking shaving stories …

Bernie Comaskey - 11/07/2025 0

Writing releases a rare rapture

Writing releases a rare rapture

Bernie Comaskey - 01/07/2025 0

All centuries of time are the same length; but never in the history of the world have things changed as much as over the last hundred years

What a difference a century makes!

Bernie Comaskey - 26/06/2025 0

‘With your experience of being a candidate in the Westmeath County Council elections of 2009, and with me behind you, you cannot lose this time.

Could this be my next big gig?

Bernie Comaskey - 19/06/2025 0

I left school at 15. No Leaving Cert; not even an ‘Inter’ or ‘Group Cert’. Fewer students got to do ‘the leaving’ in those days. Most of my friends who went on to ‘get’ the Leaving’ did well in life – but I did OK too.

Whisper it … the Leaving Cert doesn’t matter.

Bernie Comaskey - 13/06/2025 0

Local representatives continue to advocate for the station’s reopening

A tribute to the train

Bernie Comaskey - 05/06/2025 0

A lot of people are now having their first consultation with ‘Doctor Google’; before attending their GP expecting to have their own diagnosis endorsed.

Your doctor knows you inside out …

Bernie Comaskey - 22/05/2025 0

The problem of names is multiplied for me due to the fact that a couple of generations have grown up behind me. I expect other people’s children to remain as I have last seen them … and they don’t!

Everyone should have to wear a name-tag!

Bernie Comaskey - 08/05/2025 0

‘An ounce of breeding is worth a ton of feeding …’

You Can’t Be Serious

Bernie Comaskey - 01/05/2025 0

‘You never miss the water till the well runs dry…’

You Can’t Be Serious

Bernie Comaskey - 25/04/2025 0

The greatest example of a profession attracting candidates totally ill-equipped for the job is that of a referee – and I include all sporting pursuits here.

You Can’t Be Serious – ‘If God meant him to be...

Bernie Comaskey - 17/04/2025 0

Maybe you are the ‘other half’ to the other half?

Maybe you are the ‘other half’ to the other half?

Bernie Comaskey - 11/04/2025 0

“Try turning me off and then back on again … it works for everything else!”

You Can’t Be Serious

Bernie Comaskey - 04/04/2025 0

You Can’t Be Serious

Bernie Comaskey - 27/03/2025 0

The comics would be clearly identifiable when postman, Joe Masterson, stopped at our gate.

You Can’t Be Serious

Bernie Comaskey - 20/03/2025 0

I read in a newspaper last week that retail businesses cannot hold staff due to the level of customer abuse from ‘entitled’ members of the public.

You Can’t Be Serious – No, the Customer is NOT always...

Bernie Comaskey - 13/03/2025 0

We all have them in our head; short sayings or words of wisdom covering the situation in which we or the person we are talking to finds ourselves in

You Can’t Be Serious – Useful old (and not so old)...

Bernie Comaskey - 07/03/2025 0

I am not an honest man: Let us get that fact straight out in the open – before we start taking a look at you!

You Can’t Be Serious – I am not an honest man!

Bernie Comaskey - 20/02/2025 0

More than half the cars sold in Ireland today are too big for the minimum permitted parking spaces and even if successfully navigated into a standard parking space, it is virtually impossible to open doors without hitting the car in the next space.

You Can’t Be Serious – Big cars are a total waste...

Bernie Comaskey - 07/02/2025 0

Storm Eowyn created the worst storm havoc of all time across our country.

My Daddy’s part in the Rural Electrification of Ireland!

Bernie Comaskey - 31/01/2025 0

‘What’s that you just called me …?’

‘What’s that you just called me …?’

Bernie Comaskey - 16/01/2025 0

Has anybody said it to you yet? ‘There is a bit of a stretch in the evenings already’ … or some other combination of those words with the same message?

‘There’s a bit of a stretch in the evenings …’

Bernie Comaskey - 08/01/2025 0

You Can’t Be Serious

Bernie Comaskey - 25/12/2024 0

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