There is a saying regularly kicked around Casa Comaskey … well actually, the truth is that the so called saying, is used only by me and in a certain whimpering tone when I cannot find something I left in its rightful place. ‘One of the great mysteries of our time’, I sling accusingly in the direction of the only other permanent occupier of the building. Most often at this stage I remember where I left it and retrieve the object to the sound of ‘no great mystery to me!’
I have a list of other ‘great mysteries of our time’, if you would like me to share them with you. We are not talking here about the Bermuda Triangle, the Lough Ness Monster, or Bigfoot. Instead, I wonder if you might be able to help me with the little great mysteries of our time.
I have never seen grass as scarce as this year on May-Day. Fertile, fertilised fields and cattle still indoors because ‘not a blade of grass for them to eat.’ Fair enough, I hear you holler – just one of those years with bad Spring growth. Now for the great little mystery of our time: How come a fleece of grass will grow on the other side of the hedge along the road? Just poor, dirty ground and you could feed a cow to the hundred metres of roadside grass … Same thing with the lawn, never ‘odious bad growth’ on that bit of ground
On the calmest day, you try to light a match and as soon as it sparks, a gust of wind will put it out. You wait for the next lull in the breeze, strike your match and out she blows again. Keep going and your last match will break near the head as you strike the box.
Any time we are out for a meal or at a function, Mrs Youcantbeserious has only to say, ‘don’t get a stain on that tie’… and sure as soot, the tip of the tie will find a resting spot in my soup. I try to show my good manners by not curving my head too near the dinner plate, but as soon as my minder utters, ‘watch you don’t drop gravy on that white shirt’, and the next forkful will shed half its load somewhere around the chin. My toast and marmalade will always hit the ground marmalade side down!
Coming back for a moment to losing stuff around the house. You search high and low before reluctantly accepting that the item will never be found. Off you go to the shop and buy a replacement. As soon as you break the seal on the new purchase, what do you find right under your nose? Right – so it has happened to you too!
If there is one person in town you just never want to bump into. Surely it has to be one of the great mysteries of our time that no matter how often your change your time or routine, every corner you turn you are looking into the face of the one you try to avoid!
I am a great sleeper – in fact, I can sleep at will … except when I have to be up early the next morning! There are two parts to this mystery: The first is that if I have to be up at 0330, (as I had to catch an early morning flight last week) and I go to bed at 22.00, tired … instead of sleeping, I will toss and turn for the next four hours. The second part of this one of the greatest mysteries of all time is how come I can fall into a deep sleep just before the alarm goes off?
And speaking of that flight out from Dublin Airport, I am going to conclude with a sour great mystery of our time. First of all, I have to say that Dublin Airport, including security check times, rates up there among the best in the world, but last Friday morning I witnessed a big ‘but.’
At 0530 the crowds going through security were seldom greater. In front of us was a nice young couple with two children. The children were well behaved and their parents very accomplished at what they were doing. A little blonde, curly-haired girl of around 2 was viewing everything in wonderment. She held her teddy tightly … the one constant comfort for the child. But then the security officer said the teddy had to go with the bags on the belt. They took the teddy and the child became hysterical. It got worse when the family bags, including Teddy, were randomly taken in for manual checking. If I walk through with a penny in my pocket, or forget to take off my belt, the scanner will cop it. It is therefore one of the great mysteries of our time that this child wasn’t allowed take her teddy through in her arms.
Don’t Forget
A necessity is the luxury you see in the home of a neighbour.
