I know you don’t give two hoots where I first saw the sign, Lads – but just in case that Mick Duffy should ever ask the question in one of his quizzes; it was behind a saloon bar in San Diego. I have reprinted it and posted it on the wall many times in the intervening years. The message is just three simple words; ‘courtesy is contagious.’ It would be there to let customers know that staff are to be nice to them – but it also serves as a subtle reminder to those being served, that they can be nice to the staff as well!
There is no doubt about it but that the vast majority of people will respond to kindness with kindness. My Aunt Kathleen used always say, ‘it’s nice to be nice.’ Of course Auntie was correct – even if there was none quicker to let rip when she was ‘roused!’
None of us are perfect, (Please take down your hand, Darling) and we can all loose our cool sometimes. This allows discourteous words to bypass the brain – or diarrhoea of the mouth, if you prefer to call it that. If only we always thought before we spoke – and even if the other fellow is discourteous, remember that a person’s character can be measured by what it takes to make him angry.
Courtesy is simply exercising polite behaviour and polite actions. The first courtesy we are taught as children is to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Those three words will never go out of fashion.
A ‘courtesy call’ on the telephone to thank somebody for a kind thought or deed, will be deeply appreciated and ensure that same courtesy will be returned. Despite all the modern technology and instant communication, there is nothing to equal a hand-written note when it comes down to ‘polite behaviour and polite action.
As far as this courteous columnist (!) is concerned, one of the most discourteous behaviours is bad timekeeping. It declares that the person arriving late is much more important than those there at the appointed time.
It is usually the same people who come in last at a meeting, or leave you twirling your coffee on your own at the agreed time. In fairness, I have to say that punctuality has improved enormously at meetings in recent years.
Back in the day, when I would be rushing to get out the door for a meeting; Mrs Youcantbeserious would look at the clock with the words, “you’ll be the only one there.” My reply was always the same; “if there’s only one person going to make the meeting on time, it’ll be me.” Doesn’t it say somewhere that ‘punctuality is the politeness of kings?’
Lack of civility is the opposite of courteousness. As we have said, ‘courtesy is contagious’, but it is also the same with rudeness. When someone is uncivil to us, the immediate reaction is often an irrational one. ‘Feck him, I’ll put this fellow in his place’. We shouldn’t do that! Anger should never be met with anger. I have no control over the other guy; only control over how I react to him.
A word that springs to mind when displaying a courtesy in the face of rudeness in ‘dignity.’ ‘Civility costs nothing and buys everything’, I read somewhere and this is why the most successful people are ‘people’s people.’
Courtesy is contagious because it is passed from person to person, and it would be wonderful if each of us could exemplify courtesy is our everyday lives.. We shouldn’t ever wait to see how the other person treats us, before showing respect and courtesy to the other. Not to do so is the same as insisting that the other driver dips his headlights before you do.
In my book, the greatest courtesy of all is where the courteous person is bestowing kindness on someone they want nothing from, and know there is no likelihood of getting anything in return. But then of course there is that story we learned going to school, of the lion showing a courtesy to the mouse and laughing when the mouse said he would repay him someday. That was until the lion got tangled up in a net and the sharp-toothed mouse came to his rescue!
Staying and concluding with examples from the animal kingdom; it is a fact that most animals will respond to kindness over a period of time. Courtesy is contagious there too. But once in a blue moon you will come across a cow which is a ‘hoor of a kicker’ and nothing will cure her. You will come across the human ‘kicker’ who cannot be cured either. But even when courtesy isn’t contagious and doesn’t ‘take’ … you stay courteous and let that be who you are!
Don’t Forget
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. (Theodore Roosevelt)
