Commentary Enthrals as School Bureaucracy Goes Hilariously Off the Rails
Have you ever wondered what really goes on inside struggling institutions? David Aitken’s The Linoleum Prize pulls back the curtain on educational bureaucracy and takes readers deep into the chaos which ensues when a condemned school is entered for the prestigious Linoleum Prize by its art teacher.
With the judges considering the scaffolding holding the building up an artistic ‘installation’ they award the school first prize, and the power struggle over ownership begins.
David Aitken’s razor-sharp satire of institutional madness peels back the layers of educational bureaucracy to leave readers simultaneously laughing and gasping.
A workplace drama like no other, this novel showcases how ridiculous institutional life can become when ambition, power and systems that have lost all sense of purpose are left unchecked.
With the root cause of all this madness occurring when the scaffolding of the condemned school wins a prestigious art prize, the author’s storytelling is interwoven with his own experiences of both teaching and working in a condemned school.
David Aitken’s decision to add a dash of artistic mystery (the finding of a masterpiece in the ruins of the school) to his tale further adds to its appeal. A must-read for all those who enjoy books which inspire laughter and reflection, The Linoleum Prize also demonstrates that the most mundane of settings have the potential to become the canvas for extraordinary storytelling.
Synopsis:
The first two sentences are indicative of what is to come:
“I have a horror of schools, as you well know, Oswald.”
“Quite understandable in your case, even though you are the Director of Education.”
A school in a condemned building is shored up by a scaffolding, awaiting a renovation that looks like never taking place. An art teacher proposes the school for the prestigious Linoleum Prize, but the judges prefer the scaffolding, which they consider an artistic ‘installation’. A power struggle develops over the ownership of the scaffolding.
We follow the corruption of Ronald Swan, Director of Education, a position he achieved without ever setting foot inside a school (even as a boy). We meet Alexei Lermontov, a Russian gangster tired of buying losing football teams, the Mayor of Lynchburg, USA, pop. 361, “unless someone gets him really mad”, Jacques de Loire, Overlord for Europe, and his insane brother Michel de Seine, a.k.a. Miguel Mississippi and Mike River.
There is a French teacher who likes the odd drink in her walk-in cupboard (during lessons), a Life Sciences teacher who dies in a staffroom chair without anyone noticing, an ex-SAS Latin teacher, and an English teacher who impersonates a travel-shy geography master on a school trip to Switzerland despite looking nothing like him.
Other interested parties include a caterer who woos a school dinner lady with pilfered baked goods, Dr Khandu Kumar, LL.D. (Calcutta) (Failed) (Twice), and Chuckles the Clown.
But first, watch as would-be teachers of Greek, Mandarin and Arabic audition onstage for the one teaching post available within the school budget…
The Linoleum Prize is available to purchase in Kindle format (ASIN No: B08DGNG1P1) is available to purchase priced £1.99 on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/zfm6jwk2
About the author:
David Aitken is a 78-year-old Scotsman, living in Broughty Ferry, Scotland. A graduate of St Andrews University.
He has spent most of his working life (apart from a few years as a teacher of French and German in Edinburgh) as a Teacher of English as a Foreign Language, in such places as West Germany (as it was known then), the Persian Gulf (as it was known then) and Hong Kong.
During 12 years in the gulf state of Qatar, he wrote a column in the Weekly Gulf Times and continued this in the Cyprus Weekly when he bought a village house in Cyprus in the 1980’s.
In 2000 his first novel, Sleeping with Jane Austen, was short-listed for the Dundee Book Prize and his second novel, A Dundee Detective was written in 2012. He has now also published a collection of his journalism entitled Unfortunate Journalism, as well as two other novels, East Coast Detectives and The Linoleum Prize.
For several years, David has also contributed a humorous weekly column to The Leader Newspaper in Spain
